Spotted!

I know it's not true, but chick looks like she's Kelly Cutrone goes crazy in Stella from Project Runway's closet. Just sayin'.

Oh no you did not!

Some SHIT went down on The Hills this week.

First of all, Audrina was all, "Hey Lauren, I'm moving out. This weekend."



Wow.

She asked Justin Bobby to move in and he basically told her no. I can totally see why she loves him.

Then, the best thing that ever happened, ever...erm...happened.

Heidi got wasted at a Bolthouse event, Spencer offered her boss shots and SHE GOT FIRED.



Also, isn't Audrina's sister pretty?!

Peace!

Megan, everybody's favorite Beauty and the Geek winner/Rock of Love ho/I Love Money conniver, is finally, finally gone. And not a day too soon.

The challenge this week was pretty incidental. Something about managing/assembling/getting drunk with a band. The wrong team won, as usual, and there really wasn't much to talk about. Oh, Charles, Daisy's live-in from Rock of Love was in one of the bands. I tried to post a picture but incidentally no one on the internet wanted to have to see his face either.

Anywho, Megan actually kicks man-voice Brandy. Kicks her. Hard. Sharon Osbourne gets pissed, kicks her off. Trashy pornstar Brandy has a literal meltdown. It was amazing.

This post was dedicated to Frenchie. Hope you're keeping it classy bitch.

Lost News, Deleted Scenes, My Head Explodes, etc.

Here are the titles of the first six episodes of the next season:

Episode 5.01 - Because You Left
Episode 5.02 - The Lie
Episode 5.03 - Jughead
Episode 5.04 - The Little Prince
Episode 5.05 - This Place is Death
Episode 5.06 - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham

Assumedly the first episode will be a mind blowing return to last season's jaw-dropping cliffhangers.

The Little Prince promises opportunity for vivid and surreal imagery and if it has any of the epic overtones that the play it's paying homage to does, color me excited.

Lastly, OMFG! The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham. I DIE!



Sawyer/Hurley is my favorite bromance.



Two annoying women are tense over one annoying man.



"Are we dead?" "If we are, then Heaven sucks.



LOVE Miles. Also, research on the Dharma Initiative, eh?



"I'm sure you must hear this all the time..."



Deleted due to damaged film.

90210MG

Well, the music, clothing and storylines are getting slightly better, even if the acting is still terrible and overwrought. But hey, it was back in the day too so, whatevs.

In this episode:

**Dixon continues to be the cutest little button on television, not to mention the cast member I think most likely to have a career with ever-elusive longevity.





**Navid is a sweetheart. Period. It's nice to see a multi-faceted character on the show.





**The older set are far more interesting than the younger set. By far best exchange of the night:

Mama Wilson---"If you ever kiss my husband again there will be serious trouble with me"

Ugly-Plastic-Former-Baby-Mama---"Oh, I don't know how I'd get through the day knowing you were upset with me."

Mama Wilson---"Let me be clear about what I mean by serious trouble. I will punch you in the face so hard I knock your teeth out."

Zing!!!

Next week on 90210:

Annie pulls a Darcy and plays a terrible fake wasted. Yes!







P.S. Honorable Mention goes to, as always...

Lucille Bluth! I love this woman!

The Last Time I Will Mention.

This.

I will not begrudge you if you watch it but, c'mon. We need help.

Gossip Girl Recap

Helen here, with your one and only stop for what goes down in the scandalous lives of the fictional Upper East Side.



Derota catches Blair thinking a little too personally about Chuck. I think that the Derota/Blair relationship is one of the most interesting ones on the show. Love.



Nate is hanging out with his shirt off in someone else's house. He likes Jenny's new hair. I do not.



Blair attempts to seduce Nate after some advice by Dan. It doesn't work and Nate leaves her with the blissful parting lines, "You've wasted my time and ruined my pants".



Serena, in accordance with being the stupidest person on the show, has a crush on this douche. Perhaps you can go scarf shopping together and die a slow death in Williamsburg sipping on Pomegranate Black Tea whilst discussing the latest Radiohead album.



Blair almost succeeds with Chuck but the game catches up to them. This is, probably, even more than Jim and Pam, my favorite couple on television. LOVE.



Jenny befriends The O.C.'s Willa Holland who, apparently, in playing Cory Kennedy. She is generally ambivalent toward her work and begins to develop and attitude toward Eleanor Waldorff. Who do you think you are Little J? It takes years of kissing ass to move up in the fashion world, haven't we seen The Devil Wears Prada? I hate this episode's delving into hipsterdom. Damnit, I hate hipsters.



Chuck thinks that Blair is going to tell him that she loves him. Look how adorably happy he looks?!?!?!?!



Blair can't say it, given that Dan is an asshole who thinks that Chuck and Blair are incapable of really loving and told her to effectually, self-destruct. Have I mentioned that I hate Dan?



Dan stops Chuck, after a distraught Blair tells him and Serena what has happened, and tells him that she does in fact love him but that he messed everything up. Easy to believe, being the failure that he is. Chuck, obviously, wants to kill a bitch.



Jenny dances around half naked while creepy would be Cobrasnake guy takes pictures. Nate shows up and is none too pleased. On a side note, someone feed these children please.



Nate shows us that he's a man of many hobbies. He not only has sex with 40-year-old women for money, but he digs 15-year-olds with raccoon eyes. Dan's not going to like this.



Blair and Chuck tearily realize that,as they so tastily put it, Chuck and Blair cannot ever be Chuck and Blair, going to the movies and holding hands. Blair tells him that they could do the things that they like to do. I'm assuming that means being witty, ridiculously attractive and bringing about the demise of various annoying secondary characters. Oh, and doing it in the back of limos. But Chuck makes a good point. They thrive off of the game, and they're both terrible at commitment, caring and generally just treating people the way they want to. The pressure of a title, at least for right now, might just be too much. And Chuck and Blair deserve no less than a certain happily-ever-after. So suck it Dan Humphrey and your self-righteous jibber jabber. This is what love is.

***This post PURPOSEFULLY devoid of pictures of Dan Humphrey as to protect the eyes of the innocent***