OMFG!!! BEST SEASON FINALE OF THE REAL WORLD EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When we last left off, the constant infighting in the Cancun house continued as Emileeeeeeeeee got trashed and did a fancy dance all over Bronne's zombie magazine. That really happened. Having previously been treated to an intensely long cut of a film Bronne made about zombies starring Bronne about Bronne fighting those zombies (played by Bronne), we got to see his angry side. See, Bronne is serious about two things 1. Homoerotic behavior and 2. Zombies. After he found his magazine wrinkled and disgraced, he the often overlooked roommate made his stance on Emileeeeeee and Ayiiiiiiiiiiiiia known. According to Bronne, he hates Ayiia and Emilee because they are both crazy-pie. I suspect that he dislikes vowels.
So, what could happen after all of this season's drama to cap off the VD cestpool that has been Cancun this season?
Joey came back! Yes, because producers realized that all of the other houseguests had already slept together and that the last time Joey was here medicated Emilee and cutter Ayiia wanted to kill him and/or themselves, they found a loophole in his not being able to come back. Since the roommates' tenure with Student City was up, Joey could come back and boy did he ever!
Viewers (that means me and the dog, but it sounds cooler to say "viewers" like I'm a real journalist with qualifications and readership), were tense with anticipation wondering what sort of hell would break loose when the lip-ringed bandleader returned. Strangely, no one fights.
See, the roomies played a big ol' joke on Joey while he was away and told him that he had been replaced with a superhot but kind of bitchy girl roommate. HOW FUNNY! So, when Joey gets to the house, all of the old housemates bond over trash talking the fictional human being. The problem is that the fictional human being sounds a whole lot like all of the other girls in the house since the male entities involved refuse to say anything positive about her beyond the measure of her hotness, and call her a terrible bitch without giving any evidence. Joey, mysoginistic gem that he is responds that he hates her too but that he's going to bang her brains out. Sweet, sweet Joey.
The roommates are getting along swimmingly, even Joey and Ayiia, who used to want to murder each other for super mature reasons. And gosh, getting along swimmingly is turning into getting along with a creepy amount of sexual tension. The solution to this surprising twist? Copious amounts of tequila! If there's one thing I learned in college, it's that tequila ensures good decisions and never causes blackouts. Sleey after a long day of drinking, Emileeeeee invites, implores and baby talks Ayiiiiiiia into cuddling her in bed. Meanwhile, Joey is trolling the house for something to hump--and after he's found first choice Jonna pissing her little heart out--he moves onto anything but the black one. He finds the girls and jumps into bed with them, where the humping commences. Ayiia smells jackpot and tries to initiate another roommate threesome but Emilee is having none of it--she's such a throw-away character--and the two people who hate each other most continue their afternoon boink. Minutes after Ayiia feels guilty that she has cheated on her boyfriend and cries and cries. And cries. How awkward for Joey who's all high-fives and post-bang-glow. Jesus, I love The Real World.
Ayiia's boyfriend breaks up with her, Jonna tries to reel Matt back in (he refuses! BAM!), everyone hugs and says goodbye and Joey ends on the note, "Well, Ayiia. Thanks for the sex!"
Good season folks, I look foward to all of you crazies appearing on challenges and encountering Tonya.
So, what could happen after all of this season's drama to cap off the VD cestpool that has been Cancun this season?
Joey came back! Yes, because producers realized that all of the other houseguests had already slept together and that the last time Joey was here medicated Emilee and cutter Ayiia wanted to kill him and/or themselves, they found a loophole in his not being able to come back. Since the roommates' tenure with Student City was up, Joey could come back and boy did he ever!
Viewers (that means me and the dog, but it sounds cooler to say "viewers" like I'm a real journalist with qualifications and readership), were tense with anticipation wondering what sort of hell would break loose when the lip-ringed bandleader returned. Strangely, no one fights.
See, the roomies played a big ol' joke on Joey while he was away and told him that he had been replaced with a superhot but kind of bitchy girl roommate. HOW FUNNY! So, when Joey gets to the house, all of the old housemates bond over trash talking the fictional human being. The problem is that the fictional human being sounds a whole lot like all of the other girls in the house since the male entities involved refuse to say anything positive about her beyond the measure of her hotness, and call her a terrible bitch without giving any evidence. Joey, mysoginistic gem that he is responds that he hates her too but that he's going to bang her brains out. Sweet, sweet Joey.
The roommates are getting along swimmingly, even Joey and Ayiia, who used to want to murder each other for super mature reasons. And gosh, getting along swimmingly is turning into getting along with a creepy amount of sexual tension. The solution to this surprising twist? Copious amounts of tequila! If there's one thing I learned in college, it's that tequila ensures good decisions and never causes blackouts. Sleey after a long day of drinking, Emileeeeee invites, implores and baby talks Ayiiiiiiia into cuddling her in bed. Meanwhile, Joey is trolling the house for something to hump--and after he's found first choice Jonna pissing her little heart out--he moves onto anything but the black one. He finds the girls and jumps into bed with them, where the humping commences. Ayiia smells jackpot and tries to initiate another roommate threesome but Emilee is having none of it--she's such a throw-away character--and the two people who hate each other most continue their afternoon boink. Minutes after Ayiia feels guilty that she has cheated on her boyfriend and cries and cries. And cries. How awkward for Joey who's all high-fives and post-bang-glow. Jesus, I love The Real World.
Ayiia's boyfriend breaks up with her, Jonna tries to reel Matt back in (he refuses! BAM!), everyone hugs and says goodbye and Joey ends on the note, "Well, Ayiia. Thanks for the sex!"
Good season folks, I look foward to all of you crazies appearing on challenges and encountering Tonya.
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