90210 Recap

In last week's episode of 90210 we get to see more Annie/Naomi bitchery, remember why Dixon and Grandma are the best parts of this show, and thank god that SoapNet re-runs the original show.

Still reeling from their half-brother's arrival now sworn enemies,(I liked it better when they were frememies---Anna Lynne McCord's smoldering look is pretty lolworthy), Naomi and Annie begin to make their way in a post-sweet sixteen showdown-world. Who will Naomi sit with at lunch? Is Hollywood invading Annie's saccharine veins? Do you think I could get a job manning the Kraft Services table on this set?

While Silver blogs about where Naomi will sit to "eat" (lunch-room politics were already adeptly examined in Clueless and unless we're going to top it CW, let's not do a cheap knock-off), she chooses a risky table of upperclassmen. Hilariously, they only drink coffee for meals. Best part of the whole show. At least someone's being honest with themselves. They have a Heathers-esque recruitment process that involves a lot more restaurant reservations and Sidekick programming than it does murder but I don't know if even that would make these girls interesting.

Ethan, and eventually Annie are worried that her hatred for Naomi, and its root---the evil Hollywood machine---, are turning Annie away from the Kansas girl that we know and love. The thing is that Annie is so fucking boring I could fall asleep when she's being sweet and demure. However, when she's forced to act out any kind of emotion I remember her Degrassi roots. Not in the good Paige is a stripper way but in a a terrible Rick is hitting Terri way. If you didn't understand that: Shenae Grimes is seriously limited as an actress. After what can only be described as verbal showdown (bereft of wit or sassy delivery), Annie realizes the err of her ways and dresses up as the school mascot for the big lacrosse game.

Dixon goes all warpath at the game because his dad invited his new son to watch. And move in. And just generally be white with him. I can't look at him on screen without remembering that Ashlee Simpson wrote most of her debut album about their breakup. I'm also on Dixon's side because unlike Naomi's pursed lips or Annie's squinty eyes,Dixon's face is able to purvey real emotion subtly. After his blow-up he has a talk with his dad about feeling left-out as the adopted child. And feeling totes black in Hollywood. It was touching.

Naomi used her connections with token Latino guy to get into his Dad's fancy restaurant so he makes her promise him a kiss. After a surprisingly spark-free pucker, he explains that she has to kiss the mascot. OH, SNAP! It's Annie...you just got played!

The most interesting part of the episode? Adrianna puking up her guts every two seconds. Preggers much? I wonder what Navid's family will think. Or him, seeing as he's virginal and all.

Ryan's still dating jailbait. Kelly's sad. Brenda admits that she slept with Ryan. Boy gets around!

Next Week: We find out what new brother's intentions are. Drama, drama, drama. The girls eat. Well, probably not that lastone.