Real World, Episode Cuatro

Love is in the air in Cancun. That, and the pungent smell of stale beer and frat boy vomit. If there are two things that I will learn from this season of the Real World they are these: limit your alcohol and beware of dating between the ages of 18 and 24. Before this hour is over we’ve seen the roomies spin through five love interests, put their jobs—and thus their presence on the show—in jeopardy, and set the stage for another epic battle.

First comes love, then comes being shady then comes the inevitable break-up after a week of bliss. That’s how that old saying goes, right? It looks like these crazy Real World kid just can’t a relationship right. I mean, we shouldn’t expect much from a group who dropped their at-home significant others faster than a chicken wing fresh out of the fryer, but sometimes a girl’s gotta hope. This time, I was let down. The first romantic encounter is between Derek and his ex-boyfriend. See, when Derek describes the guy he goes from being his ex to being his friend to being his best friend to being his friend-with-benefits. It’s obviously complicated, and obviously stable. So, when Derek starts talking about the ex as if his impending trip to Mexico for Derek’s big 2-1 might be the catalyst for a romantic reunion, you know it’s only going to end badly. When the ex gets there he promptly ignores Derek in favor of some old guy in short swim trucks. He leaves with him and Derek is left to wallow with his older brother saying that this will never happen again. I predict that they get back together as soon as he gets home.

In other relationship news, CJ has a crush on the Spanish-speaking host at the in-hotel restaurant the group frequents. He says he likes her cause she’s cool and nice and fun. Based on her limited grasp of the English language and cardboard personality, I think he might like her for some other reason. Speaking of that reason, Joey has sent his sights on conquest number two. And what better way to ensure that a girl doesn’t get mixed messages and tell her loud and clear that you only want to hook up with her than to take her on a double date steak dinner with CJ and his crush. Joey, outside of the bar element turn out to be legit charming which is nice to see but also evil to watch as we know what fate awaits this girl who actually likes him. CJ is hot. I mean, his hair is adorable and his pecs are tight and he just looks like he’ll smell good. But his game? It is off. He talks to the poor girl about pooping and donkey shows and the date ends about where you’d think it would. A few days later the girl tells him that she just wants to be friends.

Joey, coming off of the high of taking advantage of the second girl looking for the Cancun trip of a lifetime, gets devastating news. His grandmother has just passed. It’s terrible to think about these people having to deal with a trauma like that while in this situation, but Joey flies home to be with his family and seems to return in good spirits. In between all of this romance is the rommates’ work orientation where it is once again drilled into them that there are two big rules in the house: no public intoxication and no fraternizing with Student City travelers. No one ever said Student City employees were off the block, however, so Jasmine immediately starts crushing on a fellow employee—a tall, lanky Canadian DJ. The storyline is fairly drama-free so it doesn’t get much airtime this episode. Derek, on the other hand, comes back swinging from his ex-BF strikeout and takes up with a nice young man in a crowded club. Once he realizes the guy is a Student City traveler he explains the situation, at which point lover boy rips his Student City wrist band off. Wow. Behavior like this or drunkenly laying in the middle of the street like he did earlier in the episode will surely never get Derek fired from his job.

On next week’s Real World, Joey is on a mission. Having returned from his Grandmother’s funeral with a new outlook on life, a throw caution to the wind attitude, he decides to make Ayiiia go insane. If this episode was about love, next week’s is definitely about war.