NYC Prep

Okay, NYC Prep. You've successfully captured teendom.Your show was fun at first; I reveled in the drama and awkwardness. I peppered my conversations with, "So then PC asked Jessie to talk to Camille but Camille was a total bitch and Jessie doesn't like her and you know, she's a senior and Camille's a junior anyway so they really wouldn't be friends." But now, like being a teenager, I'm getting a little tired of it all. It's just so petty and pointless and repetitive. There's really no place to go after this but sleeping with new people and drinking heavily. Which brings us to this week's episode.

Jessie and PC's friendship is at the breaking point. See, after embarking as partners in a bakery/pastry shop (for PC baked goods remind him of the grandmother he barely knew, the woman whose passing marked the disappearance of all that was righteous and pure in this world), the two ran into a bit of financial trouble. And, as most friendships-turned-business-partnerships do, their squabbles about who would pick up the check for Sunday brunch turned into fights about credit financing and mortgage payments. Just kidding.The fight is happening because Jessie has been saving PC's ass since THE SEVENTH GRADE. I don't really know what that entails but I'm assuming it has something to do with coke and comprimising gay nudes. I'm less concerned than I ought to be that it's been happening since the seventh grade.

For real though, Jessie brings up a good point in this episode. Eager to break free of the confines of the Upper East Side social scene, PC has been hanging out with a group of models and photogs and general Cobrasnake wannabes who are all in their 20's and 30's. And PC is 18. Who are these people and what did their high school yearbook photos from John Q. Adams High in Peoria, Illinois look like because I think that that would bring the lulz.

What else happened? Taylor! Taylor, our favorite squatty jailbait from the wrong side of the tracks (*the west side*!), had some drama. Except, her drama wasn't fabulously draped in Chanel and thinly veiled in Manhattan snobbish mushfaking. No, her drama was public school drama and thus a million times less entertaining and more uncomfortable than normal NYC Prep drama. In short, it reminded me of my own high school drama and before I knew it I'd finished my whole pint of Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter. Oopsie. Taylor's dating Big Nose who she left Sebastian of the Flip Hair for and now SotFH won't be her friend. But PC wants to be her friend or rather, PC wants her to be a project. At least that's what he tells everyone. It seems to me that PC wants her to actually be his friend. His real life high school friend, devoid of uppers or credit cards or Ivy League school talk. Just slumber parties and jawbreakers at the mall and never, ever, ever keeping secrets. And when Taylor gets married PC will be her Maid of Honor. Except, sadly, that can never be because Big Nose and his friends are painfully in high school. They make fun of PC's eyeliner, call him gay and it's almost refreshing to see Queen PC picked on. "I mean, that's what would happen in real life", I'm thinking. But then it stops being refreshing because I realize that PC really is gay and that he just hasn't told everyone because of little assholes like this. Now I hate Big Nose. I hate him hard.

Camille makes a visit to Harvard where she encounters a woman with the most annoying voice heard so hard on this show. That's saying something considering the fact that she brought along her friend with the vowel drawl heard only by East Coast money. I miss the days when East Coast money sounded like Dick and Nora and was all "Ah, dahling. Where haaaahhhhve you been?" Now it's Camille's friend and she just says things like, "We aare piiiin-fully sangle. Spread thah werd." Writing that made me really respect Mark Twain for his dialect work in Huck Finn. Writing about Mark Twain writing a literary masterpiece and me writing this kind of made me want to shoot myself in the face.

So, Harvard was bricky and full of actual ivy and grown up versions of Sebastian who Camille loved because their money-bought Harvard diplomas and receeding hairlines would look so good next to her own bloated sense of self worth. And Kelli came along. Kelli really has grown on me. First it was the PC being mature because he wears tight pants and says darling comment. Then it was the rejection of Sebastian after he made it clear that she was second fiddle. Now it's the calling Harvard tour guide lady on her pretentious attitude and freaky voice. I hope you have a big singing career Kelli. I hope those stadiums of people fill up your vaccuum of a heart.

Um, Jessie wore funny glasses and a headband this episode. At the same time. She also got accepted to FIT which makes me wonder whether the people I know who go to FIT know her. Maybe we could get coffee and I could show up late and she could throw something at me. Oh, it would be fun. Jessie also did Operation Smile stuff and was controlling and bitchy. It's getting harder and harder for me to resist a quip about her being so involved in a charity based around facial reconstruction so I will just move on.

The only other thing that really happened this episode was that PC rented out a penthouse and had a party where kids got loaded and broke glasses and talked about which of them had had sex. Pretty par for the course except that he RENTED OUT A PENTHOUSE. Totes normal. In the end Big Nose showed up and made everyone uncomfortable with his upper middle class working charm and I felt a little awkward again. Squats broke up with him in the middle of Union Square as skater punks looked on and hipsters whose trust funds are probably as large as any of these kids' attempted to look homeless. Perhaps we'll see one of these kids on those very same steps next season.