Stop Staring at that Box, You'll Ruin Your Eyes

Oh, The Real World. Since we last saw you Joanna had lost her damn mind, Bronne had been kicked out of the house, and the only person with a normal name in the house went home 4 episodes ago.

So, after Jonna broke up with her boyfriend in order to bang Canada's Finest DJ Pat, the same DJ who Jasmine totally wanted to desperately bang for months previously, she sat down with emotionally unstable Jasmine in order to hash the whole thing out. Surprisingly, Jasmine proves to be mature and responsible about the whole sitch, giving Jonna her blessing and clearing the air. It probably has a whole lot to do with the fact that as a revenge/sympathy move, she started shacking up with Pat's cousin. He's totally gay. The whole thing is awkward. Like, going on a double date with your ex-hookup who now bangs your roommate. Oh yeah, that happened too.

Wine makes petty behavior classy.

So, after the awk dinner date...why was Emilleeeeeeee there again?...Jonna gets all schwasty and starts making out with Ayiiiiiiiiiia. (See, the vowel joke never gets old) It seems that Ayiiia has a little crush on Jonna, and not like the kind of crush that I have on Zoe Deschanel where I think she's pretty and her clothes are cute and she's just generally neat. No, Ayiiia wants to get up close and personal with Jonna's vagina. Canada's Finest DJ, world traveller and ladies man that he is, is entralled at the prospect.

Things White People Say: "Jackpot."

As Jonna shows her devotion and affection toward Pat in the confessional (a sensitive move for the live-in ex that she just dumped), Ayiiiiiia wants some lovin' too! So, she pushes (literally) her way into a threesome. Thank god for the grainy quality of the blacklight cameras because that is not something that I need to see. Ever. It's like a pack of canned sausages. That shit's reserved for homeless people and ingrates, yo.

More entertaining than the actual threesome is the morning after. I mean, there are few things that are more awkward than drunkenly hooking up with your roommate. Scratch that. The morning after with cameras around takes the cake.

Here's my boob. But you've seen that before.

The two girls try to keep the tryst a secret but good news, and Jonna's crabs, travel fast and soon everyone knows. Most interesting is that Emileeeeee gets really upset. She tries to explain her anger away by saying that she felt betrayed by Jonna keeping the truth from her and that she's looking out for her best friend in the house (does Jonna really want to be with a guy who's hooked up with three of the four girls in the house) but it seems to me that Emilee wanted her lesbo night of debauchery to be the sapphic highlight of the season. It's okay Emilee, you're still the only cast member who had a five minute segment dedicated to your need for mental medication--mostly due to the fact that no one else has a prescription.

I'm not the best Hooters girl with lesbian leanings and too many vowels?!

So, Pat and his homosexual cousin leave and the girls are bereft. Jonna is especially sad questioning whether it was such a good idea to drop her doting, dull boyfriend for a couple romps in the sack with a skinny white DJ and her insane roommate. She has faith though, faith that the love she and Smirnoff have fostered this past week can span the length of time and geography. She needs to know whether her relationship with Pat can work from Canada to Arizona, cause she's really good at long distance, so she emails him. He doesn't write back, so she calls him. Alas, he is at a club and hangs up on her. The twisted and tangled road to love.

The "hottest" girl on the show.