Real World

On the Real World, Bronne got plastered drunk and threw a fire extinguisher off of a balcony, causing the fine people at ME : Cancun to kick him out of his ridiculously outfitted penthouse. As a result he had to go live in the Student City staff housing which looks a lot like the motel we stayed in once in Akron with lawn furniture sitting in the pool instead of water. Bronne locked himself out of his room there and spent the night talking to a dog while drinking a 2-liter of soda and finally found sweet repose on a hammock that has, most likely, been urinated on 73 times lifetime. It was the most realistic part of the season thus far.

Now with 50% more pee.

In other news, the slutfest that is Joanna continued. She took her friendship with Canada's Finest DJ Pat to the next level by going on a romantic dinner with her and all but ignoring her boyfriend at home. Then came the big question, "Is Pat worth ending my relationship with Devoted Boyfriend?" Taking the sound advice of Ayiiiiiiiiiiia (who is for the record, not at all insane or unbalenced and totally has a purpose on this show beyond proving just how atrocious those cucumber headbands really are), she breaks things off with boyfriend. Well, really she makes out with Pat under the covers in her bed, below a collage of her and Devoted Boyfriend before breaking things off in a three telephone call conversation. Over three days. Joanna is classy and respectable.

Who wouldn't want a piece of that?

Other courtship activities for Canada's Finest DJ and Herps McCrabby included creepily watching Jasmine and Pat's cousin "flirt" while talking about how Jasmine is only trying to get with him to make Pat jealous. I mean, it was obvious to anyone that that was true, and they were mighty awkward together, but why do you care so much? And, oh poor Jasmine. If you want to do a revenge hook-up, you choose someone who the former crush feels threatened by, not his ultimately gayer than Ricky Martin cousin. It's getting painful to watch you, girl.

Nothing awkward going on here.

Emileeeeeee continued to be boring, but I'm kind of happy for her that they don't show her much because she's getting a little chunk-o.

Next week, Ayiiiiiiiiiiia gets a crush on Sluts O'Trampy and there's a requisite Real World/Cancun threesome. Careful Vowels, the action caught on tape won't be the only thing you have for a lifetime.