Harper's Island Update

It's a wonder that I don't talk about this show more often because it's easily my favorite on T.V. right now. In the vacuous lull that is summer television, it's easy to forget that there is original content being broadcast on network television that isn't ridiculous reality television. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love ridiculous reality television. It's just nice to have a scripted drama to fall back on. And I hope that this one is doing well because the thirteen-week mini-series event is sort of the perfect solution for the awkward amount of time between the stop and start of T.V. season.

Since we last spoke about the ill-fated wedding party and native islanders, lots more blood has been shed and tons more clues to the mystery have been revealed.

So, the death toll?


Beth, the college best friend of Trish and bridesmaid was just found in pieces
in the underground tunnels beneath the hotel. Yet another reason not to venture off on your own when there's a killer on the loose.
Hunter, Trish's college ex was paid by dear old dad to try and break up the wedding. He was even paid a huge sum, which he promptly tried to take off of the island. Too bad his boat was rigged with a shotgun set to shoot him in the face. It was such a pretty mug too.

J.D., Henry's creepy, sadistic brother was accused of the murders and even locked up for the crimes. But when he escaped jail he ended up being the one killed. The groom, Henry, was found bloody next to his body with scratches on his arms and no recollection of what had happened. Sounds a little fishy to me.

Booth; After finding the boat full of money and Hunter's brains, the groomsmen decide that burying the money and sinking the boat is the best way to prevent incrimination. Booth draws the small straw and has to head out into the woods to dig a hole. Broke Malcolm finds him, scares him bad enough that Booth shoots himself and he bleeds out in the woods. Turns out that hole he dug was for himself.

Katherine Wellington died one of the most frustrating deaths yet. While waiting for the state police to arrive, everyone else spreads out like an idiot. Katherine stays put in the green room. Someone sneaks behind her with a pair of garden shears and stabs her in the back. I suppose that's what she gets for sleeping with her stepdaughter's husband.
Kelly's death was originally determined to be a suicide. The often depressed, tattooed girl was found hanging in her house and had never really gotten over her parents being murdered by Wakefield. But J.D. who had a thing for Kelly, and Abby, who had just invited her to stay with her back on the mainland suspected otherwise. They were right.
Lucy, the fellow rich girl, was one of Trish's bridesmaids. To be honest, she died so long ago and with such small fanfare that I can barely remember her. She fell into a hole somewhere in the forest but her annoying dog can still be found yapping around from time to time.

Maggie, the sweet and helpful caretaker at The Candlewick Inn, thought that she was exempt from Wakefield's madness. That was before she was hanging from a noose outside The Cannery. The best part is that she's still freaking hanging there.

Malcolm wanted to keep all that money Daddy gave to Hunter to bail himself out of debt. He got Booth killed in the process and after his buddies found out, he took the money down to the boiler to burn the evidence. Malcolm was the one who got pushed into the fire.



Richard, the kinky, father-in-law despising husband of Trish's sister Shea and father of Madison, was a prime suspect when Trish's dad was killed. He was absolved of the crime when he was found split in half and hanging on a tree by a whale spade.


Sheriff Mills is the estranged father of Abbie. He also was the main suspect in the murders---I mean, that attic full of Wakefield memorabilia and Madison claiming that he took her were pretty incriminating. Turns out the kid lied and Abbie had to watch as Wakefield hung another of her parents up to dry.
Thomas Wellington died what was arguably the coolest death in the show. As Abbie hit the lights at the wedding rehearsal the chandelier above the alter came crashing down and a whale spade split Wellington's cranium in half. In front of everyone.
Uncle Marty was the kind of sleazebag you like to have around if stuff goes down. So, it's unfortunate that he bit the dust so early. Cut in half after he fell through a bridge, his halves were then hung up in trees. How intricate.
Cousin Ben, who we never got to meet because he was tied up and sent hacking by the propeller of the boat on the way to the island.

So, who's left?


Bride and groom Trish and Henry, narrator Abby and main squeeze Jimmy, groomsmen Chris and Danny, bridesmaid Chloe and her English beau Cal, Trish's sister Shea and her daughter Madison, and islanders Nikki and Shane.

So, whodunnit?

Wakefield was revealed at the end of the last episode in the flesh, so we know that he is at least partially at fault. But he surely couldn't have done it all by himself. With the reveal of a mystery child by Wakefield and Abby's mother, my money's on Abby's long lost bro or sis being the culprit. My guesses? Islander Nikki or bridegroom Henry---what exactly happened to his parents anyhow?