Mai Boo, Jack Black.
Mai Boo, Alba. Just please, don't let her talk.
Did I mention that the episode centers around the office crew roasting Michael? Ah-maze-ing.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Now Guest Starring on the Office:
During the 2-hour Office special following the Super Bowl we have 2 confirmed guest stars.
Mai Boo, Jack Black.
Mai Boo, Alba. Just please, don't let her talk.
Did I mention that the episode centers around the office crew roasting Michael? Ah-maze-ing.
Mai Boo, Jack Black.
Mai Boo, Alba. Just please, don't let her talk.
Did I mention that the episode centers around the office crew roasting Michael? Ah-maze-ing.
The Office
In this episode we got:
A new prank.
That ended poorly for Dwight.
It was a really great episode. The Dwight/Angela/Andy triangle came to a head, unbeknown to Andy. Also, Andy played the sitar.
Andy: [playing the guitar] Ange, check it out. [singing] There's a place in France / where the naked ladies dance.
Angela: Really Andy? It's Christmas. And you're singing about nudity and France. [walks away]
Meredith gets wasted and lights her hair on fire on accident. Oopsie. So Michael arranges an intervention.
Meredith: I don't mind telling you I have an addiction. I do. To porn.
[collective sighs from everyone in the office]
Michael Scott: Alright, no no no. No. That is-- the image, I think we can all agree, is very disgusting but you know what? Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come into work and you're dead?
Dwight Schrute: I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick.
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Schrute: There are several ways to kill a zombie. But the most satisfying one, is to stab it in the brain, with a wooden stick.
Dwight Schrute: In the Schrute family we believe in a five-fingered intervention. [raises fist] Awareness. Education. Control. Acceptance. And punching.
Dwight sold Christmas toys on the side. Even one to Daryll...and then Toby.
Darryl: (after Toby sees that the doll is black) Is there something wrong with the doll?
Toby: No. It's even better than the one I wanted.
And Jim and Pam were adorable.
Pam Beesly: I knew it.
Jim Halpert: You did not know it.
Pam Beesly: I knew some of it.
Jim Halpert: Everyone knew some of it.
Pam Beesly: [Pam turns to Jim] It's Christmas.
Jim Halpert: You knew it.
Pam Beesly: Thank you. [to camera] I knew it.
Jim Halpert: She knew it.
A new prank.
That ended poorly for Dwight.
It was a really great episode. The Dwight/Angela/Andy triangle came to a head, unbeknown to Andy. Also, Andy played the sitar.
Andy: [playing the guitar] Ange, check it out. [singing] There's a place in France / where the naked ladies dance.
Angela: Really Andy? It's Christmas. And you're singing about nudity and France. [walks away]
Meredith gets wasted and lights her hair on fire on accident. Oopsie. So Michael arranges an intervention.
Meredith: I don't mind telling you I have an addiction. I do. To porn.
[collective sighs from everyone in the office]
Michael Scott: Alright, no no no. No. That is-- the image, I think we can all agree, is very disgusting but you know what? Meredith, you lit your hair on fire today. What about tomorrow? What is going to happen when you come into work and you're dead?
Dwight Schrute: I stab her in the brain with a wooden stick.
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Schrute: There are several ways to kill a zombie. But the most satisfying one, is to stab it in the brain, with a wooden stick.
Dwight Schrute: In the Schrute family we believe in a five-fingered intervention. [raises fist] Awareness. Education. Control. Acceptance. And punching.
Dwight sold Christmas toys on the side. Even one to Daryll...and then Toby.
Darryl: (after Toby sees that the doll is black) Is there something wrong with the doll?
Toby: No. It's even better than the one I wanted.
And Jim and Pam were adorable.
Pam Beesly: I knew it.
Jim Halpert: You did not know it.
Pam Beesly: I knew some of it.
Jim Halpert: Everyone knew some of it.
Pam Beesly: [Pam turns to Jim] It's Christmas.
Jim Halpert: You knew it.
Pam Beesly: Thank you. [to camera] I knew it.
Jim Halpert: She knew it.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Lest we forget...
On January 11th we'll be graced with Jack Muthafucking Bauer's presence once again. I watched Redemption, the 24 mini-movie that followed Jack all the way to Africa, and it blew me away. Included were:
1. Jack killing a dude with his feet, Sayid stylee.
2. Jack killing some dudes with some bombs.
3. Jack trying to help a Lost Boy.
4. Jack giving up his freedom for the sake of little African boys.
5. Jon Voight creeping us out.
Put on your fancy panties people. You know Keifer will be taking them off.
A Note on 17 and Counting.
I watch this show out of perverse fascination. Actually, the only feeling that I can identify when I'm watching is the queasy sorrow I also get when I watch Intervention.
The stars of the show, the Duggars, live in what can only be described as a compound and survive in a largely self-sufficient environment(a large garden, giant wood burning stove, and home made soap are prominently featured in the latest episode). And after 20 years of marriage, parents Michelle and Jim Bob (yes, I really did just type Jim Bob), have given birth to 17 children. And there's one on the way. Understand the name?! Isn't it all just a craaaaaaaazy freakshow?!
TLC, the network that airs the show, glosses over most of the weirdness and instead chooses to focus on subdued interviews with Mama and the kiddos. Is it subdued that I'm looking for, or medicated. I'm not suggesting that the family is actually being drugged with Quaalude (their diction is far to accurate for that, sillies), but there is a sort of glossy-eyed adherence to the script, if you will, that makes me uncomfortable. When asked why all of the girls in the family have the same hairstyle, one of the teenagers (I cannot tell them apart and to complicate matters even more, they all have names beginning in "J") replies that her father likes long hair. Her father dictates how the girl coming into womanhood looks best and coincidentally it looks a hell of a lot like his wife twenty years ago before she pushed 17 kids out of her haha. If nothing else, it's creepily masochistic.
And let's get back to the 17 kids. I'm all for individual choice in families. Big, small, no kids at all, as long as love is present that's all I require. But 17?! That's not only grandiose but irresponsible. In 2007 there were approximately half a million children in the United States alone in foster care. And that's not even counting the millions of children starving or living in terrible conditions in other countries. If you have the means and the love to share, why not stop at 10 kids and save another seven.
That's where the kicker comes in. The Duggars have so many children because they belong to a creepy cult-like extremist religion that dictates that they ought to. And I will not apologize for that statement. Some things are subjective but decisions resulting in potential child neglect(they parent according to "the buddy system") and dangerous effects on womens' health are non-negotiable.
Michelle refers to herself as a "quiverfull". It's a term that evangelical Christians use to refers to women who use ABSOLUTELY NO form of birth control. I'm not trying to be gross here people but even crazy Catholics pull out. That would have to have cut it down a couple kids. Oh, and the name is derived from this bible verse:
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
So, that's cool. The dude probably ought to be happy so keep your legs open and hope you don't die after all of those medically dangerous pregnancies over and over.
It's not very often that television makes me viscerally angry but congratulations Duggars, you've done it. Again and again and again.
The stars of the show, the Duggars, live in what can only be described as a compound and survive in a largely self-sufficient environment(a large garden, giant wood burning stove, and home made soap are prominently featured in the latest episode). And after 20 years of marriage, parents Michelle and Jim Bob (yes, I really did just type Jim Bob), have given birth to 17 children. And there's one on the way. Understand the name?! Isn't it all just a craaaaaaaazy freakshow?!
TLC, the network that airs the show, glosses over most of the weirdness and instead chooses to focus on subdued interviews with Mama and the kiddos. Is it subdued that I'm looking for, or medicated. I'm not suggesting that the family is actually being drugged with Quaalude (their diction is far to accurate for that, sillies), but there is a sort of glossy-eyed adherence to the script, if you will, that makes me uncomfortable. When asked why all of the girls in the family have the same hairstyle, one of the teenagers (I cannot tell them apart and to complicate matters even more, they all have names beginning in "J") replies that her father likes long hair. Her father dictates how the girl coming into womanhood looks best and coincidentally it looks a hell of a lot like his wife twenty years ago before she pushed 17 kids out of her haha. If nothing else, it's creepily masochistic.
And let's get back to the 17 kids. I'm all for individual choice in families. Big, small, no kids at all, as long as love is present that's all I require. But 17?! That's not only grandiose but irresponsible. In 2007 there were approximately half a million children in the United States alone in foster care. And that's not even counting the millions of children starving or living in terrible conditions in other countries. If you have the means and the love to share, why not stop at 10 kids and save another seven.
That's where the kicker comes in. The Duggars have so many children because they belong to a creepy cult-like extremist religion that dictates that they ought to. And I will not apologize for that statement. Some things are subjective but decisions resulting in potential child neglect(they parent according to "the buddy system") and dangerous effects on womens' health are non-negotiable.
Michelle refers to herself as a "quiverfull". It's a term that evangelical Christians use to refers to women who use ABSOLUTELY NO form of birth control. I'm not trying to be gross here people but even crazy Catholics pull out. That would have to have cut it down a couple kids. Oh, and the name is derived from this bible verse:
Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
So, that's cool. The dude probably ought to be happy so keep your legs open and hope you don't die after all of those medically dangerous pregnancies over and over.
It's not very often that television makes me viscerally angry but congratulations Duggars, you've done it. Again and again and again.
I died a little bit on the inside...
It's true. Pushing Daisies, my favorite new show last season and a constant source on happiness in my life has been canceled.
Apart from the visually stunning set design, quirky music, kooky characters and silly storylines, I loved this show because of the characters.
Very, very rarely is the world blessed with a reinvention of the wheel and I feel like the Pushing Daisies writers and creators did that. Underneath the magic and mayhem was the story of love. A boy who loved a girl he couldn't touch. A girl who loved a boy who didn't love her back. An aunt who loved a niece she thought was dead. And loss. The loss of a daughter years, and years ago. The loss of a father that never stopped hurting. Ned could not pet his own dog people. That's about as heartwrenching as it gets!
I guess America just isn't ready for a little pop-magic-realism. At least I know that if Andy Warhol and Gabriel Garcia Marquez had a baby it would have created this show.
Apart from the visually stunning set design, quirky music, kooky characters and silly storylines, I loved this show because of the characters.
Very, very rarely is the world blessed with a reinvention of the wheel and I feel like the Pushing Daisies writers and creators did that. Underneath the magic and mayhem was the story of love. A boy who loved a girl he couldn't touch. A girl who loved a boy who didn't love her back. An aunt who loved a niece she thought was dead. And loss. The loss of a daughter years, and years ago. The loss of a father that never stopped hurting. Ned could not pet his own dog people. That's about as heartwrenching as it gets!
I guess America just isn't ready for a little pop-magic-realism. At least I know that if Andy Warhol and Gabriel Garcia Marquez had a baby it would have created this show.
Reality Recap
So... Paris Hilton chose a new BFF. And you know it's real because they're already out providing the world with crotch-shots.
Brittany, the burping, farting self-proclaimed "Jack Black" of the group claimed Paris's place on the left side of her body beneath her breast bone. And all of this after she admitted going on the show to promote her burgeoning rock career. To be fair, she was my favorite from the start.
And she wasn't insane like Vanessa. Bitch was in-sane. Now Paris, I know that you were snorting coke off of Parisian businessmen on yachts for most of the 90's but didn't you even catch a glimpse of single white female?! Rent that shit.
So, go on girl...and please, stop it with the headbands.
This post dedicated to:
BB u so fine!
Brittany, the burping, farting self-proclaimed "Jack Black" of the group claimed Paris's place on the left side of her body beneath her breast bone. And all of this after she admitted going on the show to promote her burgeoning rock career. To be fair, she was my favorite from the start.
And she wasn't insane like Vanessa. Bitch was in-sane. Now Paris, I know that you were snorting coke off of Parisian businessmen on yachts for most of the 90's but didn't you even catch a glimpse of single white female?! Rent that shit.
So, go on girl...and please, stop it with the headbands.
This post dedicated to:
BB u so fine!
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